Sporadically speaking

"Chaos isn't a pit. Chaos is a ladder. Many who try to climb it fail and never get to try again. The fall breaks them. And some, are given a chance to climb. They refuse, they cling to the realm or the gods or love. Illusions. Only the ladder is real. The climb is all there is."

- Game of Thrones "The Climb"

I should celebrate the first weekend I've spent at home in about two months somehow. Sadly all I'm doing is security wiping some phones, with the prospect of laundry and attempting, yet again, to watch season 2 of Endeavour on the horizon. At least my new phone has a sleep monitoring app that has proven that I don't have sleep apnoea but that I do have a propensity to get restless around midnight and 4am.

Saturday afternoon on a Bank Holiday and I'm drinking bucksfizz because Marks & Spencer had a sale. There has to be a punchline in there somewhere: This is not how I expected my life to turn out.

The last panel of this A Softer World remix might be a better snapshot of the past rather than the present. Though maybe this one might, in a way, be more indicative of the present.

I'll figure out a coherent narrative about that eventually.

I was going to have more to say about this tumblr post but I really think that there's anything to add. After all, the nearest thing I have to a brother is a younger cousin who I've spent many years referring to as 'my little cousin', who while younger than me, is taller, far more built, and could probably have me in a fight, if I wasn't biting. By way of comparison, at one point he was going to the gym to do free weights regularly while I went to dance classes. The point being, in regards to physical contact, I've literally had one 'bro hug' from him, while I was in intensive care recently, and the rest of the time we shake hands. Though I've yet to ascertain whether or not he still does the instant zippo held out to light my cigarette these days, since it's been some time.

Unrelated to the above, this clip from Mean Girls has confirmed that I model my work mode of action on Regina George. I'm not sure if I'm horrified or pleased.

Today it occurs to me that the criteria I've been using, for the vast part of the last year, for purchasing clothes has been whether or not I could possibly wear the item for work. It actually reached the point where most of my wardrobe was work-applicable, with the only two other categories being summer wear for Canada or things to wear to the gym. This started to become a bit of a problem a few months ago when I stopped turning down social invitations and actually starting doing things other than dealing with moving, business paperwork or work functions. When it comes down to it, it's all really come to a head today, when I realised, while contemplating a purchase, that the first question I asked myself was whether or not I could wear those items for work.

I could do with a little wardrobe separation really. Which would then be a continuation on from the mindset change that started with a dear friend pointing out that I was going round in circles focusing on work all the time.

The scent actually reminds me of sea breezes and it's awfully smooth for Talisker, clean and less charged than other varieties I've tasted, though I'm not sure that I'm too keen on the heady nature of the bite. That said I like my scotch so smooth that you barely notice it going down so that's an ongoing complaint of mine. Mixed with coke it adds a soft spice note to the mixture, enough so that I find myself drinking it far quicker than I ought.

All of which suggests that I'm definitely a fan of West Scotland regions and that I should probably investigate something from Campbeltown next.