Montessori 1st Plane of Development

[narcasse]

Sensory refinement—from birth to around four years old

Social behaviour—from around two and a half to four years old

This explains perfectly where my two main problem areas stem from. Lack of touch from a primary caretaker has most likely been the cause of the occasional texture issues that I have, and the fact that I don’t really know how to navigate physical contact and most certainly am always surprised when others initiate it. Similarly, that neglect has also left me without an understanding of how to navigate intimate interactions. On one hand, without going in to details, I do feel that the circumstances that have caused these issues would probably well and truly give me a free pass should I ever have a psychotic break of any kind. On the other, said circumstances highlight, explicitly, that by not being a complete basket case, I’ve actually been doing fantastically all along. Because everything else is just polishing up the details.

Addressing my tactile issues, at this stage, may no longer be possible. I’ve yet to look into the developmental biology of the matter but it’s entirely likely that there’ll be little that I can do about my sense of touch at this stage in the game. As for the intimate interactions issue, I’ve been working out a good many details over the weekend in a type of free-association exercise. So far, I’ve pinpointed the types of interactions that I want to avoid and strategies for avoiding them. I’m fairly insular as it is, which has helped matters along, but the next stage would certainly be to look at positive indications and the model that developing relationships are likely to follow. It’s also something that I’m reading up on at the moment since trying to recall the initial stages of my four most intimate friendships isn’t working quite so well, possibly since the most recent of those connections initially formed over ten years ago. That said, it does also help to remind myself that there are four individuals with whom I can share all the delicate details, and whom equally have shared similar matters themselves, so I can’t be going too far wrong.

I work best when I can plot out the critical path and understand the foundation of the matter, after which I can make quantum leaps of logic as appropriate, after all. So, the point of the exercise is to work out all the little details that seem to come so naturally to extroverts. Applying frameworks from organisational behaviour texts and neuro-linguistic programming books to help me best understand the situation and formulate several sets of sensible plans of action to deal with various possibilities. The other aspect of this is that it will, no doubt, give me a deeper understanding of my rather spectacular successes at CRM and, what is essentially, sales prattle. At a superficial level I’m quite capable of managing affairs; I enjoy public speaking and am most certainly not above using standard rapport building tricks to influence the situation. Quite why said tricks work nearly always relates to body language, which again is another particular study of mine, made so as to aid my social skills.

All of which boils down to the fact that I’ve been aware of my failings in forging intimate relationships and, as such, have striven to compensate by learning various indicators and set formulas. Of course while said formulas work on a superficial level its degrees of intimacy that I need to work on next. Something which will also, quite conveniently, address my comfort levels in regards to the above as well.


In an unrelated fashion, my specialist study appears to be fashionable again. Though at this point I’m not entirely sure that I care all that much anymore. It's been almost ten years after all.

On the other hand, this One Man Phantom of the Opera (Medley Cover) by Nick Pitera is enough to suggest that some of the things that I’ve forgotten might be worth remembering.